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  • Writer's picturemarikenney

Give Yourself a Break.

Updated: Oct 24, 2023

In March of this year, my husband, our friend, and I made a cross-country trek to our new home in Oregon. During the trip, I was riding high on the excitement of a new adventure, but once we settled into our new home, I felt disjointed and disconnected - everything seemed hazy and unfocused.

I played it off with a smile, and I hated every minute of it.

I've never been great with change. Change short circuits my brain and it's a hard process for me to work through. Minor changes are usually pretty simple to work through, but a 2,500 mile change nearly broke me.

For this move, I hadn't allowed myself time to process the fact that I would be moving far, far, far, far away from my friends, my family - my home.

And that was a big freaking change!

I tried to ignore the feelings and focus on my new life, in my new town, but those feelings never went away and only caused a lot of heartache, migraines, and diarrhea. I felt like I was faltering.

So a few weeks ago, I allowed myself to grieve my old life. I lit some candles, found a quiet spot and cried.

I hate crying. I don't like doing it. Too much emotion/snot. But I did it. I let the heaviness that had been plaguing me for the last few months just flow right out my eyes and nose.

And I felt better.


A little less hazy.

But I still felt off.

Until this weekend.

This weekend, I decided to sit outside and read a book. The weather was lovely and I realized I hadn't lost myself in good fiction in awhile. As I was reading, a thought popped into my head -

It took you twenty-six years to set up your old life, give yourself a break - and take some time on this new one.

So, I've decided to give myself a break. Realize that it might take me awhile to find my footing (and I will more than likely make a few mistakes, SPOILER ALERT: I already have) - but as long as I keep trying, as long as I keep going - everything will be all right.

Fingers crossed.

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25 lug 2023
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Thank you for being so vulnerable and for sharing a ritual. So much love. Keep up the good work. You’re doing fabulous. 💜 - VH

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